That guy over there on the right, with the Obama on vacation look, is my dad.
If you’ve met him you probably don’t have to read the rest of this. But if you haven’t, well let me introduce you to this jolly man.
- He doesn’t “like” anything. He “loves” it. He will also ask if you love it. It can be Christmas gifts or dinner rolls. Doesn’t matter. The only appropriate feeling for anything is “love”.
- He ‘loves’ a good Jamaican rum. If you didn’t know already it cures everything. It also causes a lot of problems but whatever.
- He ‘loves’ animals and has transferred that love to his kids. We’ve had: a turtle, a rabbit, a few birds, and a lot of dogs.
- He hates – HATES – lamb or pretty much any animal that’s not: cow, pork or fish. And if you trick him into eating it he might hate you.
- That said, he’s not really capable of hating anyone. This man is a softie.
- Addendum to the above: He’s thrown out gifts given to him by people that have hurt his kids. When a man throws out a perfectly good Dremel you may have crossed the line.
- He’s super handy. I’ve yet to see a task that my dad can’t handle. He can frame the giant painting you brought from Rio or reupholster your entire living room set – twice in one month. Twice.
- He will sit with you for hours trying to understand how technology works. We’re talking – https, bitcoin, compilers, high level languages, etc. He hates Facebook and digs Reddit and Pinterest.
- He will also sit and talk to you about the differences between your religious beliefs and his…without judgement.
- He can’t say no. This is great if you’re a child or grandchild testing the limits. Not so great if you’re the parent trying to raise the child.
- In turn, he will support 99% of all your crazy ideas. That extra 1% – well you should probably evaluate anyway if you see him expressing any doubt. (Example: A few years ago I wanted a duck. Since apparently ducks poop everywhere he just giggled and said “Nahhhh”. I got a dog and named him Goose. Boom.)
Today, he celebrates 73 years of just being overall dope. (Para mi tata, that’s like saying you’re tuanis.) Everything I’ve been able to do in life can be attributed to this man (and mom, but it’s not your birthday girlfriend).
So today, I’ll be finding the nearest Jamaican themed drink to toast.